


Scarring

by Shadow15



Category: Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-06
Updated: 2017-03-06
Packaged: 2018-09-28 16:14:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10135688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadow15/pseuds/Shadow15
Summary: Starting a job as a psychiatric nurse within a psychiatric hospital, Dino finds himself taking Bel as his sole patient after learning just how many people had given up on him over the years. Knowing that there has to be something he can do to help the boy, Dino refuses to abandon him like everyone else has. AU, yaoi, Dino x Bel





	1. Chapter 1

To say that Dino Cavallone was excited to start his new career in psychiatric nursing was an understatement; he had shown up early for his first day on the job, and now that he had been shown around and had his duties explained to him, he felt more and more eager with each passing minute; he couldn’t wait to start working with the patients. 

“And the patients in this wing are the ones you’ll be spending your day getting to know.” Dino’s new boss, a short, petite man, smiled as they stopped in the middle of the corridor.  “Would you like to start meeting some of the patients now, or do I need to run you through things once again?”

“No, I’ll meet the patients.” Dino returned the smile as he threaded his fingers through his blond locks.  “Where should I start?”

The man pointed to the first room on their left before he said, “Start from the left.  But…  Well, the fourth room…  Perhaps skip that room – at least for today.  I’m not sure if you’re ready to handle a patient like him just yet.”

Dino frowned.  He looked at the room the other was pointing to; he sincerely hoped someone was already caring for the patient in there because it hurt to think that they were just being left all alone without anyone.  “Is anyone looking after him already?”

“No; another carer walked out on him again just yesterday.  That’s the fourth one in two weeks.” The man shook his head.  “We’ve never had another patient like this one; I think he’s _beyond_ help.”

“No one’s beyond help if someone’s willing _to_ help.” Dino’s mind had already been made up as he walked over to the door; if no one was going to give that patient a chance, _he_ would; he wasn’t going to abandon someone who had no one, after all.  “I’m starting with this patient.  What’s his name?”

“His name is Belphegor, but…  You’re in for a surprise if you think you’ll be able to do something for him.”

Dino didn’t reply to these words; he instead grabbed the door handle and twisted it. He peeked through the crack he had created before he knocked against the door to announce his presence; the occupant of the room was laying in the bed with the blanket over their head, and Dino wasn’t sure if they knew he was there or not. 

“Hello.” Dino called out to the occupant before he opened the door wider and stepped in.  He waited until his boss had followed him into the room before he closed the door behind them; he wondered if the door being closed would help soothe his new patient or not.  “You’re Belphegor, right?  My name’s Dino; I’m new here.”

When the body didn’t move an inch, Dino moved closer to the bed.  He slowly reached out to ghost his fingers against the lump beneath the sheets before he swallowed thickly; was the patient okay…?  “Belphegor?  Are you alright…?” Turning back to his boss, he asked, “Does he always do this?”

“Yes.  That’s how he sleeps.  He’s ignoring you on purpose.”

Dino knew he had to teach the patient to respect him, so he reached out and removed the blankets in hopes that it would show the other they shouldn’t ignore people trying to talk to them.  He pulled them down until he was met with golden locks splayed out against the pillow, long bangs hiding what looked to be a teenager’s eyes from view.  The other’s mouth was downturned in a frown, but the thing that truly upset Dino was the fact that, not only was the other in a straitjacket, he also had security mitts on his hands and a restraint roll belt keeping him in bed.  The younger still didn’t speak; he remained as still as a statue. 

“Let’s get these off you.” The young man reached out to remove the restraints on his patient, but he stopped at the startled gasp the other man made. 

“Don’t take those off him!  That’s a bad idea!”

Looking his boss directly in the eyes, Dino said, “This is _my_ patient now, and I will care for him to _my_ standards.  I don’t see these kinds of restraints becoming of _anyone,_ and I won’t leave them on him.  They’re inhumane, and I won’t allow them to be used on him while I’m caring for him.”

“You’re asking for trouble letting him out of them, Cavallone.”  

Dino didn’t understand what the older male’s problem was – not until his patient finally turned around to look at him and he was fixed with the angriest look he had _ever_ felt. 

“I suggest you leave my room before you make me mad, peasant.” The voice that filled the air was soft and silky, but the underlying hatred and irritability beneath it betrayed what could have otherwise been a soothing voice.  

“I’m afraid I can’t leave you, Belphegor.” The stronger blond was gentle as he removed the security mitts from his patient’s hands.  He offered a small smile.  “I want to get to know you.”

“The only thing you’ll get to know is how it feels to die in agony.” The boy tensed as unwelcome hands next lifted him slightly so that the rolling belt could be removed from him.  He hissed.  “Get your hands off me, peasant!”

“I am not a peasant, Belphegor; my name is Dino, and I’m here to help you.”

“I don’t _need_ help!” His legs kicked out violently as the younger started thrashing once Dino begun removing the straitjacket.   “Fuck off!  I hate you!”

“Belphegor, if you –“

“Stop calling me that!”  The boy screamed as the straitjacket was pulled from his body.  When he was free of it, he launched himself towards Dino.  “My name is Bel!  Bel, damnit!”

Dino wasn’t afraid at the sudden attack; he simply caught Bel and held him tight while the other continued to try and attack him.  He said nothing but soft, soothing words, making sure to keep their bodies pressed close enough so that the blond’s arms were trapped between them.  He remained this way for what felt like forever until the patient returned to his bed, seemingly knowing that he would only tire himself out if he were to continue on.

“It's your fault…”

Not taking the accusation to heart, Dino shrugged it off. “What is?”

“Everything.”

“I'm sorry, then, Bel.”

“…” With his arms now free, Bel pulled the blankets over his head and fell silent.

“I told you he's a handful, and that you're too inexperienced for someone like him.”

Dino looked at his boss before he shook his head. “I'm taking him on. Even if you give all the other patients to the other new staff; I'm making Bel my priority.”

“You’ll be sorry, Cavallone.”

“Maybe. But I won't turn my back on him.” Following the man out of the room and back into the corridor, Dino sighed. “I would like to spend my evening with him, if that's okay.”

“It’s up to you. Just don't come telling me that I told you so.”

Dino nodded. “I won't, because I’m going to help him.”

“You can try.  What he did just then was tame compared to how he usually is.”

The young man shook his head.  He hoped he would prove the other wrong; surely there was some way to help Bel; no one had just found it yet.

 


	2. Chapter 2

A week had passed, and so far the only thing that had changed in Bel was the fact that he became angrier and more aggressive with each passing day.  Dino could see why so many people had given up on him; the boy – a sixteen-year-old _child_ – had gone as far as to break out of his room one night and sneak back a knife he had taken from the kitchen in an attempt to stab Dino the next day with it.  It had been lucky the man’s phone had beeped with a text, because if he had remained looking down at the newspaper he had been reading out loud to his patient, he would not have noticed the blade being thrust towards him that would have skewered him with no remorse. 

Even so, with an attempted attack on him, Dino wasn’t deterred from his job. 

“Good morning, Bel.  Would you like to go for a walk in the grounds today?” Dino remained relaxed as he opened the door to the younger’s room; it was never easy coaxing the younger blond from his bed, but sometimes it was possible.  Bel never ventured far from his room, however; he would simply go down to the end of the hallway before demanding they return back to his bedroom. 

Bel was sitting up on his bed today, with his back against the wall as he glared furiously from beneath his long bangs.  He shouted, his voice full of loathing, but his carer was still able to pick out the anxiety within it.  “You’re late, you stupid peasant!”

“Yes, I’m sorry, Bel; I was caught up in traffic.” Dino closed the door behind him before he took a seat across from the boy’s bed.  “I couldn’t help it.”

“It’s because you hate me, isn’t it?!” The boy got off the bed so that he could kick the base of it.  He had never shouted so loud in a long time, but then again…

He had never felt so _betrayed_ in a long time.

“If you hate me so much, why do you keep coming back?!” Kicking out again, Bel didn’t stop, despite the waves of pain spreading through his leg.  “Why can’t you just stay away like everyone else?!  I hate you so much!”

Dino moved forward at this so that he could pull Bel away from the bed before he could cause more damage to himself.  The younger’s sleeves rode upwards at this, revealing pale flesh with fresh scratches that had droplets of blood sticking stubbornly to the skin.  He knew Bel self-harmed, but even so, he couldn’t bear the thought of keeping his patient in humiliating restraints to stop this behaviour; there had to be an alternative he could find that wouldn’t treat the younger like an animal. 

“Don’t touch me!  Just fucking leave!  Leave, peasant!” Bel thrashed wildly in Dino’s hold before he leant down and sunk his teeth into the man’s arm as hard as he could.

“Bel…!” The man winced as he felt blood dribbling down his own arm.  He tried his hardest to remain still; he couldn’t antagonise the patient any more than he already had, however unintentionally.  Trying to speak as calmly as he could, he said, “Bel…  Please don’t bite me…  Stop biting me, please…”

The boy snarled as he sunk his teeth in deeper for a few seconds before he pulled away in order to shout again.  “Why are you doing this?!  Why are you acting like you care when you _don’t?!_ You’re _lying_ to me!”

“I’m not lying to you, Bel…” Dino slowly lifted his hand upwards.  He didn’t miss the way Bel flinched and started struggling more, as if to get away from whatever that hand was about to do to him.  Remaining silent until he had rested his hand in golden locks as gently as possible, he then said, “I really _do_ care about you, Bel.  You just bit my arm hard enough for me to probably need stitches.  But I’m still here with you, and I’m not leaving any time soon.  I promise you I would not have been late had the traffic not been so congested, Bel.  I’m so sorry you feel this way.”

Bel finally broke out of the hold.  He stood in place as he glared hatefully at his carer.  His shoulders heaved from how heavily he was breathing, and his heart was racing; why couldn’t the other just be _honest_ with him?  He _knew_ he was bad, that he was a person no one could possibly love and care about.  People came into his life, used him, abused him, and then left him.  That was all he was good for.  There had never been love or care in his life, and it wasn’t going to start now, not with _Dino –_ not while he was locked away in a mental hospital because he _couldn’t fucking function properly_. 

But what Bel wouldn’t give to have someone to love him…

The older blond left Bel be in order to examine the damage to his arm.  He frowned as he noticed all the blood dripping onto the floor beneath him; that kid had very sharp teeth, and he knew how to use them.  “…”

As angry, as hateful as Bel was feeling in this moment, all it took was to see the adult frown at the wound before anxiety and guilt consumed him; he had made that injury, and though he held no regret and would do it again in a heartbeat…

He quite simply didn’t want to be alone.  Sure, he pushed absolutely everyone away from him; he would attack them, yell at them, even go as far as to _kill_ them, but in a way, he only did it because he was already so used to the abandonment, he was terrified of the idea of letting someone past his walls, just to leave in the end like everyone else who had once been in his life. 

With his emotions already out of whack for the morning, Bel dropped to his knees as he started crying, bordering on hysteric.  He shied away from Dino when the man knelt next to him in an attempt to comfort him, and no matter how hard he tried to stop crying, his tears only continued to come harder. 

Bel knew it was all Dino’s fault he was feeling this way, and he wanted to lash out with everything he had and make his carer pay, but he couldn’t find the strength to do so; he had been awake all night, and he was just so tired, he didn’t feel as if he had the energy left for anything.   

“Bel, I’m not mad or anything with you.” Remaining calm, Dino placed his hand on the boy’s shoulder.  “It’s just a bite; it’s nothing of importance.  I promise I’m not mad, and you’re not in trouble.”

Bel lifted his hands to cover his ears.  He scrunched his face up as he did his best to block out these words; he couldn’t let the other deceive him, feed him lies to try to get him to trust the other, only to hurt him in the end – it had happened too many times, and Bel had learnt his lesson years ago. 

Dino knew this wasn’t going to be easy, but damnit, he was going to do whatever he could to help, even if it took him his entire life to do so.  He refused to allow Bel to dwindle any further than he already had due to the lack of care he’d been given in his whole existence, and he was going to be the one to make the change for his patient. 

By the time Dino was through with Bel, the boy was going to be a much healthier person; he swore that on his life. 

 


	3. Chapter 3

The more time Dino spent with Bel, the more it became clear to the carer that a lot of Bel’s troubles were stemming from being trapped in an asylum that had never taken good care of him in the first place; the high levels of anxiety the smaller blond displayed consistently in his room lessened whenever he was taken out into the hallways for walks, and though he would calm slightly once Dino came to see him, he would be back on edge as soon as he knew he was going to be alone once more.

 

It had only been a matter of time for Dino to make his way to his boss and do what he believed was right, even if it meant he would be asking to bend rules; he wasn’t going to sit and watch Bel suffer any longer. 

 

The young man stepped into his boss’ office shortly after arriving at work.  He bowed politely to the other before taking a seat at the desk.  He was as respectful as ever as he explained his wishes, hoping his boss would understand – but the biggest problem was that he knew he was going to have was to convince everyone to release an involuntary patient into his care, and he knew how hard, if not impossible that would be to achieve. 

 

“Can you please tell me who Bel’s psychiatrist is?” Dino cocked his head slightly before he continued on.  “I would like to speak to them and ask them to put Bel on a leave of absence.”

 

“Leave of…  Are you _insane?!_ ” The older male slammed his hands against the desk before he stood up in a hurry.  “Do you realise what you are dealing with?!”

 

“I am dealing with a boy who is not getting any better because of the conditions he is living in.” Dino remained calm as he tried his best to explain.  “I am his carer, and I have decided that if he is going to get any better, it won’t be in this psychiatric hospital.  These kinds of conditions are only adding to his stress; he needs to get out of them if he has a chance.”

 

“Someone in his kind of condition –“

 

“- Is misunderstood because no one’s taking the time to get to _know_ him.”

 

“You can’t look me in the eyes and tell me he is an angel, because he is far from it, Cavallone!”

 

Dino sighed.  “Bel _isn’t_ an angel, no.  But he’s not a demon, either.  He’s simply a kid who’s lost himself and doesn’t know how to get back on the right path.  I’ve seen him vulnerable before.  I’ve seen him have nightmares that leave him screaming.  I’ve listened to him cry.  And I’ve heard him be politer and respectful than most people I know.  He _can_ be saved, but it won’t happen if he’s kept here.  Tell me who his psychiatrist is, or I’ll find out myself.”

 

There was silence in the room for a while before the other finally gave in.  The older male grabbed his notepad from the desk so that he could scribble a name and office location on it before tearing it out and passing it to Dino.  “He’ll only allow Belphegor absence of leave if he decides a community treatment order is satisfactory.  Convince _him_ that Belphegor requires this.”

 

Dino nodded, accepting the paper.  Standing up, he thanked his boss for his time before leaving to find Bel’s psychiatrist; he would do whatever it took to make everyone see that Bel needed to be out of here in order for his treatment to be effective.

 

**_~~XX~~_ **

 

When Bel woke up from his nap, it was to his bedroom door opening. He blinked sleepily before he frowned and lifted his head from his pillow, his vision blurred from sleep.  His frown deepened as he finally recognised Dino, and he felt sick at the realisation that the other had left him alone during his nap; what if he had woken up to find that Dino had gone and wasn’t coming back? 

 

“Why did you leave?” The boy pushed himself up into a sitting position so that he could glare at his carer; Dino had _promised_ he wasn’t going to leave if Bel took a nap…!  “Where were you?  What were you doing?”

 

Dino was as gentle as ever as he took his usual seat across from Bel’s bed.  “I was talking to the director.”

 

“What about.” The younger’s tone grew more demanding by the second.  He let out a frustrated sound as he kicked his feet against the mattress.  “You said you would _stay!_ ”

 

“I’m sorry, Bel; it was very important and I _had_ to leave.”

 

“Why didn’t you _wake_ me?!” Bel raised his voice now. He got to his feet and approached the carer in the most intimidating manner he could muster in his sleepy state.  “Why do you _hate_ me so much?!  What did I _do?!_ ”

 

Dino didn’t take any of this to heart; he knew that Bel was just unsettled and should quieten down soon once he got through his bout of insecurity.  “You didn’t do anything, Bel.  In fact, I have good news for you.”

 

“What’s that?  Are you going to finally admit you’re leaving like everyone else does?!” Bel threw a punch at the older male, but he whimpered when his fist was caught with ease.  Trying to pull away, he let out a scream of agitation.  “Let go!  I hate you!”

 

“But I don’t hate _you,_ Bel.  In fact, I like you so much, I just got permission to take you away from here and bring you to my home instead.” Dino never let his smile falter despite the fact that Bel had frozen at this, as if he had no idea whether he had heard correct or not. “Would you like that?  I think you’ll be much happier there.”

 

“…” Bel didn’t know how he was supposed to feel about these words; he really wanted to get out of this tiny room because he hated it so much, but…  

 

But how could Bel trust that Dino was going to keep his word?  That the other wasn’t lying to him right now?

 

“I don’t believe you.” Bel was still trying to tug his hand free from Dino’s.  He growled as he kicked the other in the shin before throwing his body weight at the man.  “I hate you!  You’re just like everyone else!  You just want to get my hopes up before you leave, too!”

 

“That’s not true,” Dino promised.  He made no retaliation against the way Bel tried to attack him; he instead allowed it to happen, finding that the boy was too weak and malnourished to be any real threat in his current state.  “I would have left long ago if that’s what I was intending on doing.  I would gain nothing from hurting you.”

 

Bel’s anger only grew as he remembered all the countless abandonment he had been through in his sixteen years of life.  He screamed so loudly at the other, his words were incomprehensible.  He tried his hardest to drive Dino away, to get this over and done with already, but the man didn’t seem to want to leave any time soon, and quite frankly, Bel just simply didn’t have the energy required to keep his behaviour up – not when he was confined to a cubicle of a room all day every day and could only ever feel the way his stamina dwindled to near non-existent. 

 

Bel didn’t want to give up on trying to make Dino leave, but he _had_ to stop when he became so tired, he could only slump against the man’s legs and mutter quietly as his fists thumped so softly against Dino’s knees, the other could barely feel the touch. 

 

Dino never left once during this; he just continued patting Bel’s head as he said soft, soothing words to his charge, waiting for the younger to finally calm down, no matter how long it took.

 

Dino had said he would never leave Bel, and he had meant it.  He wasn’t going to change his mind _now_ – not when he felt he was going to get somewhere soon with the boy by bringing Bel back with him.

 

**_~~XX~~_ **

 

It had been one of the biggest struggles Dino had ever endured to get Bel home with him; Bel had kicked and screamed and thrashed when he had been taken from his room and out to Dino’s car by two of the security members, and even then, the older blond had had no choice but to put his charge back into a straitjacket just for the trip home; who knew what the boy would cause if he were free to attack Dino while the other was driving. 

 

The man was glad to get the straitjacket off of Bel’s body once they were safely inside his home, and though he had prepared himself for a lot of things, it wasn’t to watch Bel take just one look around the living room before bolting towards the back of the house and locking himself in the storage closet he found tucked away in the hall. 

 

Dino sighed at this, but he could understand; from Bel’s records, the boy had been through numerous foster parents and adoptive homes until he was finally ditched at the psychiatric hospital, no one wanting to deal with his behaviour; Bel was probably too afraid to let himself settle in to his new home, believing that it would only be a matter of time before Dino, too, got rid of him. 

 

Dino followed Bel to the storage closet so that he could knock gently on the hardwood.  “Bel?  May I open the door?”

 

“Fuck off!” There was no mistaking the terror in Bel’s voice, his tone thick with tears.  There was a loud bang from within the closet, probably the boy kicking at something, before he shouted again.  “Leave me alone, peasant!  I hate you!”

 

Dino couldn’t let this get to him; he had to be patient and understand that his charge was going to act out after everything he had been through; having read the teenager’s files so many times, it honestly made the carer wonder how Bel had made it this far – what the boy had been put through in his short life…

 

“I’m going to be in my bedroom, Bel.  It’s just across from the closet.  Please tell me if you need anything at all, okay?” Having not expected for an answer in the first place, the blond wasn’t surprised when there was only silence.  Not saying anything more, Dino turned around and entered his bedroom.  He sat on his bed before picking up the book he was currently reading from his nightstand.  He left his door ajar just enough to keep an eye on the closet in case Bel decided to come out, but hours had passed, and the closet door hadn’t moved an inch. 

 

Dino could only hope Bel was going to be able to cope, because he knew that creating such a disturbance in the boy’s routine – if one could even call it that, locked away in the same room all day every day – was going to be extremely disconcerting. 

 

But no matter what, Dino was going to be there for Bel, whether the boy liked it or not.

****

**_~~XX~~_ **

 

Dino had no idea how he had managed to coax Bel out from the closet and to the table when it came time for dinner, but somehow he had convinced the boy to come out and eat.  It was a simple meal, just a bowl of spaghetti since Dino was unsure of what his charge would eat and how much of an appetite he would have now that it came to proper food cooked to a higher standard than that of the psychiatric hospital. 

 

Bel was silent as he poked at his food, barely eating anything.  Dino watched him with concern, knowing that the boy was always refusing to eat back at the hospital; hopefully his eating disorder wasn’t going to carry over to here, as well. 

 

“Do you feel sick, Bel?”  Dino put his fork down next to him as he waited patiently for a response. 

 

Bel lifted his head.  He cocked it slightly as he considered the question; _did_ he feel sick?  He wasn’t too sure what exactly he was feeling right now; he felt anxious, and the usual anger he could always feel inside of him was bubbling with something else he didn’t understand.  He felt restless, but he didn’t know what to do; it was almost as if his body wanted him to do something but even _it_ didn’t know what exactly, leaving him with no motivation for anything, not even sleep. 

 

But did he feel _sick?_ …Maybe, but perhaps not entirely physically. 

 

Bel shrugged.  He could feel his stomach churn as he tried to lift his plastic fork out of the bowl with only two noodle strands hanging off it; any more and he felt as if he would throw up.  It wasn’t that Dino was a bad cook, because the few pasta strands he had already eaten had complimented his taste buds nicely, but there was just something about the idea of food that was making him feel as if he was about to vomit. 

 

“You don’t have to eat all of it,” Dino promised, hoping his charge would trust him in this.  “You only have to eat what you feel like eating, even if it’s just a few strands.  We can always help you get your appetite up a little more later.”

 

With that said, Bel pushed his bowl away and dropped his plastic fork – which Dino had given him due to a strict ‘No sharp cutlery for Bel’ policy – back into the pasta.  He staggered away from the table and made his way into the hallway and down to the bathroom.  He had managed to fight back his nausea, but now that he was leaning over the toilet bowl, he couldn’t help but throw up what little he had eaten.

 

Once he had finished emptying the contents of his stomach, Bel staggered back out of the bathroom and to the closet once again.  He curled up beneath the bottom shelf, and despite the uncomfortable position he was required to rest in, closed his eyes as he forced himself into a broken sleep. 

 

For the rest of the night, Bel stayed in the closet, but when he would wake up in the morning, he would find himself with a blanket wrapped around him and a pillow between his head and the plastic storage box he was slumped over. 

 

Maybe… Dino wasn’t as bad as Bel had originally thought.  


	4. Chapter 4

Within just a few days of having brought Bel home, Dino found himself having a very hard time looking after him; Bel was uncooperative and kept running away and hiding, and the older blond was beginning to feel as if he were at his wits’ end – but he wasn’t going to take Bel back to the hospital, not after promising that he would help his charge.

Dino wasn’t the type of person to abandon someone – there was a reason he had chosen his profession, after all- and instead would do everything he could to help them.  Sometimes, though, even Dino got frustrated – like now, as he door-knocked along his street to ask his neighbours if they had seen Bel.

“What’s that, sweetheart?  Speak up a little, will you?”

Dino could never show disrespect to his elders; he was as polite as ever as he spoke louder to his elderly neighbour.  “Have you seen the boy I’m looking after?  I can’t find him anywhere and I’m worried.”

“I didn’t know you had a son, dear.  How sweet.” The woman’s eyes shone with happiness.  “What is his name?”

“Oh, he’s not my son; I’m… looking after him for a friend.” Dino understood the questioning; his neighbour was rather senile, after all.  “He has blond hair and he was wearing a striped shirt this morning.  Have you seen him?”

“No, dear, I haven’t. But I have cookies I just baked.  Give them to him for me.”

Dino knew it was easier to accept the gift and move on to the next neighbour, so when a paper bag full of cookies was handed to him, he thanked the woman for her time and went next door.  To his relief, the other neighbour was middle-aged and capable of being asked such a serious question. 

“Hello.” The young man was glad that his neighbour was outside getting the mail; it would make up for lost time in trying to find Bel without the hassle of waiting for the other to answer the door.  “Have you seen the boy I’m looking after?  He snuck out while I was cleaning the kitchen and I’m really worried about him.”

The man looked down at Dino.  He smiled slightly before he asked, “What’s he look like?  I’ve seen a couple kids around here today already.”

“He’s got blond hair and he was wearing a striped shirt.”

“I think I saw him heading down to the river; I drove past a kid like that on my way home and it looked like that was where he was going.”

Dino was greatly worried at these words; it would be only too easy for something to happen to Bel if he were unsupervised at the river; he could get lost or drown, trip over something and hurt his leg, or he could even fall off one of the many steep embankments that were so sneaky, they had already claimed several lives over the years.

“Thank you; I’ll go and find him now.” The blond hurried back to his own home so that he could get his car keys and drive to the river.  He didn’t waste any time in getting there; he had to get Bel back to safety.

To Dino’s relief, Bel hadn’t gotten too far into the bushland by the time the adult had parked his car and started looking for him.  The man reached out to grab his charge’s arm and tug him out of the ditch the younger had tried to hide in, and no matter how much Bel yelled and struggled, he didn’t let go; he wasn’t happy with the boy’s behaviour, and he needed for Bel to learn that he had done wrong.

“Let me go!  I hate you!” Bel tried to bite at the hand that refused to let go of his arm, but Dino was too quick; the stronger blond spun around to pull Bel’s back against his chest and hold him still. 

“Bel, I don’t usually get mad, and I’m not mad at you just yet, but I’m certainly not happy with you for running off like this!” Dino knew he couldn’t be too stern with Bel because the younger didn’t know or trust him just yet, and if he wasn’t careful about how he handled this, he could make his charge only withdraw further.  “I’ve told you before; if you want to go outside, you have to ask me so I can come with you.  Look, I know it’s not fair for you to be cooped up inside all of the time, and I understand why you want to be outside instead, and I’m happy to let you go out as long as you _ask_ me, Bel.  If you go outside without asking me first, I’m going to be very upset with you.  What if you got hurt, and I didn’t know because I thought you were still inside?  I _worry_ about you, and I don’t want you to be hurt.”

“You’re a liar!” Bel continued to writhe, just wanting to get away; why was Dino doing this to him?  “You’re supposed to let me run away and be _happy_ I’m gone!  Leave me alone!”

Dino shook his head.  “I’m not mad at you, Bel. I just don’t want you to run off like this again.  Alright?”

Bel didn’t stop trying to free himself from Dino’s hold, so the older blond let him go.  The boy didn’t seem to know how to react to that; he just stared at his guardian with a frown on his face.

“Do you understand, Bel?” Dino allowed his tone to soften.  “Now let’s forget this happened and leave.”

Bel still didn’t say a word; he simply followed behind Dino with his head down.  He hesitated to get into the car when they arrived back at it; despite having only been in the vehicle a handful of times, he felt uncomfortable in it, the space too small and suffocating for his liking.  The older blond understood, though; his charge already felt like a prisoner in their home, and being trapped in a car wasn’t helping. 

“Bel…  Are you unhappy living in my home?” Dino wanted to get to the bottom of the younger’s behaviour, knowing he had to find out why Bel kept running away and hiding so that he could stop it before something happened. 

Bel didn’t reply directly to the question, but he did grip his pant legs tightly and frown down at his lap; a sign Dino recognised as anxiety.  “…”

“Would it make you feel better if we spent time outside of the house?  I have some friends around your age, Bel; I think you might like them if you were to get to know them.”

A sharp breath left Bel’s lips as he shook his head.  He dug his nails into his pant legs, and despite the fabric between his skin, he still left scratches on his flesh.  Bel was genuinely frightened now, and he wasn’t making any attempt to hide it.  “No…!”

“They won’t hurt you, Bel; you’ll make friends.  They’re very nice kids; they wouldn’t want to upset you.”  Inside, Dino wanted for the boy to accept his offer and maybe, just maybe, make some friends and possibly calm down a little.  “I think you’d like them; it might just take a little bit for you to get used to them, first.  We can go and see them, and we won’t stay for long; we’ll have lunch with them and you can get to know them a little bit.  What do you think?”

Bel’s hands clenched and unclenched in agitation, and Dino knew why; the boy was very unsettled from being removed from the house and most likely thought he was about to be dumped again.  It was sad, but the man could understand it; all Bel _knew_ was abandonment.      

“Liar!” Bel gripped the seat tight as he turned to glare furiously at Dino.  “You’re such a fucking liar!  You’ve just had enough of me already, haven’t you?!   Why wouldn’t you just let me run away if you want me gone so badly?!  Have you finally gotten sick of me like everyone else?!”

“Not at all, Bel.” Dino was patient, letting the boy scream at him.  However, he couldn’t help but feel a pang of hurt in his chest at the younger’s next words.

“Stop fucking with me or I’ll kill myself!” Bel pulled his sleeve upwards so that he could reveal the fresh stitches in his arm Bel had gotten at the hospital the night previous for self-harming.  He snarled at the look of pain on his new guardian’s face, not believing it to be sincere, no matter how much he wished it was; no one had ever cared about him before, so why would _Dino_ start now?  “That’s what you want, isn’t it?!  To be rid of me!”

“I certainly don’t want you to die, Bel.  And I’m being honest with you; we’ll both be back home in no time.”  

Bel growled.  He wished Dino would just hurry up and get rid of him already; it would certainly make the pain in his chest vanish sooner rather than being unable to get rid of the tiniest streak of hope inside him that maybe… just maybe… Dino really _did_ want him.

“Would it help you if I were to promise we’ll be back home by one o’clock?” Hoping that in giving Bel a timeframe would help calm the younger, Dino wasn’t surprised when Bel just muttered something under his breath before falling silent. 

Dino didn’t say anything more; he would just have to keep trying to find a way to get through to Bel, no matter how hard it was going to be. 

**_~~XX~~_ **

When Dino finally managed to coax Bel inside the sushi restaurant they had just arrived at, he was glad to see the younger finally following behind, however reluctantly; it had been a struggle to get him out of the car, and the older blond had been worried Bel would run off again, but to his relief, it looked as if his new charge was going to remain with him. 

“Tsuyoshi.” Dino bowed politely to the man behind the counter before he led Bel over as well.  “Are the boys about?”

“Yeah, they’re up in Takeshi’s room.  Oi!  Takeshi!  Come down!”

Bel was incredibly tense at this, finding the man extremely intimidating; this stranger was loud and held an air of confidence about him, and the boy couldn’t help but be reminded of people he wished he could have killed when given the chances. 

“Bel?” Dino noticed how uncomfortable Bel looked.  “Are you okay?”

Instinctively, the man reached out to put his hand on Bel’s shoulder, but the boy didn’t accept the comfort; he growled loudly and shoved his guardian away.  “Fuck off!  Don’t touch me!  I hate you!”

Before Dino could reply, a familiar voice grabbed his attention from the back of the restaurant.  “Is this Belphegor, Dino-san?”

Dino didn’t let Bel’s behaviour get him down; he instead smiled at the younger teenagers gathered by the doorway to the living quarters.  “Yes, this is him.  I brought him out to meet you guys.”

Bel was oddly silent.  He stared down at his feet as he waited for the inevitable; Dino was going to abandon him here, wasn’t he…?  It was only a matter of time before the stronger blond got up and left, never to be seen again.

And that knowledge… it _hurt_ … 

“Bel hasn’t had lunch yet.  Have you?” Dino smiled when the younger trio shook their heads.  He guided Bel over to the counter so that they could sit.  “Want to eat with us?”

Bel didn’t care to hear what the others said; he just sat down at the counter, not understanding what he was supposed to do now; all of the sushi was behind a glass screen, so how did he eat it?  He sighed and dropped his face to the counter. 

However, he became genuinely surprised when a plate of sushi was put in front of him; where did this come from?  Why was he being fed without having asked for anything?  Was he _allowed_ to eat it, or was it just some sick test to see if he would touch it or not? 

“It’s okay, Bel.”

The blond looked up at Dino.  He grimaced as he found a disgustingly bright smile directed at him, and he wanted to take his chopstick and stab his guardian in the face with it.  He growled before snapping, “Don’t smile at me!”

Bel flinched when laughter he had never heard before sounded from next to him; was someone laughing at him…?  He froze when he felt someone wrap their arms around his shoulders and pull him against a warm body, and from there he almost started hyperventilating; what was happening?  Why was someone touching him like this?  He didn’t understand!

“He reminds me of Gokudera!” The tallest of the trio had been smiling as he noticed the infuriated look on his silver-haired friend’s face, but his smile was wiped away when he heard the blond in his arms start to cry; had he done something wrong?  “Bel?  Did I hurt you?”

Bel pulled away from the stronger male’s arms and instead moved to Dino’s side, almost as if he were seeking out the man’s protection.  He shoved at his guardian when the other tried to hold him, and lifted an arm to hide his face in hopes that no one would see him cry; he didn’t want to hear them tell him how pathetic he was because he already knew it. 

“Takeshi, I think you should take it slower around Bel.” Dino wasn’t mad at his young friend; he understood it was in the other’s nature to be physically affectionate.  “I don’t think he’s ever been around other kids before, and he’s never had someone to hug him before; he must be very nervous.”

The boy felt sick; he had fucked up again somehow, hadn’t he?  He had done something wrong and now everyone was mad at him.    He didn’t want to listen to what they were saying; surely they were discussing the best way to get rid of him.  But how was that fair?  He didn’t even _know_ what he had done wrong!  He just… didn’t…

“Bel, this is Takeshi, Hayato and Tsuna.”

Bel frowned.  He lifted his head to look at the other kids.  He didn’t care for their names; all he wanted was to be left alone.  He opened his mouth to shout about how he didn’t give a fuck who they were, but before he could do so, Dino spoke again.

“Why don’t you go to Takeshi’s room with them and play?”

Bel shuddered.  “Piss off!  You’re only trying to get rid of me!”

The older blond refused to let this accusation get him down.  He instead stood up and pulled Bel to his feet, too.  He took his charge’s hand in his, and he couldn’t help but feel his heart skip a beat when he realised just how small it was compared to his own.  In the gentlest tone he could muster, he said, “I would never do that to you, Bel.  I’ll come with you if it’ll make you feel better.” 

How was Bel supposed to respond?  Of all the scenarios that had played through his mind in split seconds, he could have _never_ anticipated that.  He was so dumbfounded, he didn’t resist as he was tugged along to the back of the restaurant; he just stared blankly ahead of him as he raised his hand to his mouth to nibble slightly at the tip of his thumb in anxiety; what should he expect right now?  

It wasn’t very comforting to have the younger group follow behind; Bel only wanted to go back and eat his sushi – of _course_ he should have expected to not be allowed to eat it after all! 

“No!” As soon as he realised he was being led into a room, Bel turned to run, but Dino caught him before he could get away.  He started thrashing, and while terror consumed him, he was powerless to stop himself from crying.  “Let me go!  I don’t want to!  No!”

“Bel, I’m not going to hurt you.”  Dino knelt down so that he was eye level with his charge.  “Why are you so scared?”

The boy gave up on trying to get away; he knew it was useless and that he was only going to tire himself out further if he kept it up. He slumped forward and hugged himself tight, rocking slightly on the spot.  He sniffed.  “…I… I don’t…  N-no more…”

The older blond chewed at his lip.  While he hadn’t read anything of it in Bel’s file, he was starting to wonder…  It wasn’t normal for a child to be as afraid of bedrooms as this boy was.  He looked up at the younger teenagers before he said quietly, “Can we have some privacy, please?  I want to ask Bel something personal.”

Bel shuddered as the younger trio left them alone; what was Dino about to do to him…?  He couldn’t help but whimper and squeeze his eyes shut tight as he moved his head to face anywhere but at his guardian when strong hands grabbed his shoulders; it was finally about to start, wasn’t it…?  He should have known better than to get his hopes up that the man was different…

“Bel…” Dino took a deep breath.  “…Has…  Has anyone ever… touched you…?  Down there…?”

The boy gave a confused look; what was the other talking about?  He had been beaten his whole life, but…  Was there any other kind of touch other than the pounding of fists and stomps of feet?  And in a specific place?  He just didn’t understand…!  “…I don’t… know…”

Part of Dino was relieved to hear this; if Bel didn’t understand, than his concerns must be for nothing.  He closed his eyes as he reached out and pulled his charge into a hug, and to his honest surprise, the younger didn’t try and get away; Bel simply froze in the embrace and frowned. 

“What did they do to you, Bel…?” Dino already knew most of the answers; he had read it in Bel’s file.  But that file wasn’t where he wanted to find things out; he wanted for the younger to tell him himself, to open up and trust him and _vent_. 

Bel’s lips opened and closed wordlessly before he shook his head and pushed Dino away.  His tears came harder down his cheeks, but for once, he didn’t spout abuse and obscenities; he hugged himself tight and stared at his feet as his bottom lip quivered.  “…”

Dino was as gentle as ever as he removed his hands from the younger’s shoulders and instead put them against his thighs as he leant down.  “You don’t have to tell me, Bel; you still aren’t ready to trust me.  But I’m always here if you ever need someone to talk to.  Alright?  Now wait here while I go and get the others.”

Bel wiped at his eyes.  He stood where he was, not feeling motivated to try and run away; he felt drained of all energy, as if something had come along and sucked the life – or what was left of it – out of him.  He observed the younger group through lidded eyes when they came back with Dino, and all he could do was block out their words. 

“Come on, Bel.” The older blond led his charge back into the bedroom, and though he said nothing about it, he was glad to feel a small hand clutch his own tightly. 

Bel could have thrown up as he followed Dino into the room.  Reality hit him like a cement truck and he realised what he was doing and the danger he was putting himself in by entering, and with a startled gasp, he pulled his hand free from the man’s and ran to the corner that was farthest from everyone else.  He pulled his knees to his chest and rocked back and forth, trying to prepare himself for the assaults that would be coming any second now, but no matter how hard he tried to lock himself away inside his mind, he couldn’t ignore the fact that the tallest male of the trio was approaching him, and his smile didn’t hold any of the malice he was used to – instead, it was almost… a warmer version of Dino’s. 

The dark-haired male – who Bel remembered had been introduced to him as Takeshi – knelt on the floor in front of Bel.  He extended his hand to put it on the smaller male’s knee, but he instead pulled it back to himself when the blond flinched and tried to move away.  He didn’t comment on the reaction; he instead said in a gentle voice, “Dino told us that he rescued you from his work, and that you’ve been through a lot.  I think you’re just like Gokudera, and in that case, you shouldn’t try and hide what you feel by taking it out on others; you should take some time to just cry and let it all out.  Gokudera never tells us when something’s bothering him, and you shouldn’t, either.  So, what’s bothering you right now, Bel?  Is there anything we can do to help?”

Bel was stressed.  Very stressed.  He had never encountered a situation like this before, and he didn’t know how he was supposed to act.  Was he supposed to scream and shout like he always did with Dino?  Or was he supposed to listen to what Takeshi was telling him?     

Bel didn’t know, and all he could do was grab at his face as let out a frustrated noise as he started to cry again. 

While Takeshi’s friends remained on the other side of the room, the dark-haired male himself never left Bel’s side.  He stayed where he was, as patient as ever.  “It’s okay to cry, Bel.  It’s okay.  As long as it takes, we can sit here.”

“S-shut up…” It was a struggle to get such simple words past his tears, but immediately upon realising he had told this – this _stranger_ – to shut up, he felt his stomach twist uncomfortably in guilt; why did it feel so _wrong_ to talk to Takeshi like that…?  “F-fuck… I… I… Fuck…”

Bel vomited from his stress, and with that, he had passed out; this was just too much for his fragile mind to take in. 


	5. Chapter 5

“What are you doing…?” Bel couldn’t help but peer around the corner of Dino’s back veranda at the other kids his guardian seemed to like.  He frowned as he noticed how Dino and his guests were spread out in the yard, with most of them closer to the edge of the woods than the house.  He had heard a repetitive banging noise and the sounds and running from the house, and though he had tried to ignore it and sleep on the living room couch, he had no longer been able to ignore his curiosity; he wanted to know what they were doing because whatever it was that they did together, it was _nothing_ like the places he used to live. 

The brunet whom Bel had come to learn was named Tsuna, smiled shyly as he dropped the giant weapon-looking thing he was holding to the ground.  The blond’s heart started racing and he couldn’t help but back up as he noticed it, but he soon stopped when he realised the younger male was approaching him without it in his hands – that certainly was a first… 

In a voice as quiet as Bel’s, Tsuna said, “We’re playing baseball; Yamamoto has a big tournament coming up and we’re helping him keep up on his game.”

Bel licked his lips. “…What’s baseball…?”

“It’s a game.”

“Game…?”

The brunet nodded.  He pointed to where he had been standing and then to the bat.  “See, that’s the bat that we take in turns of using.  We have to hit a ball as hard as we can, and we have to run to bases before the ball is thrown back to the pitcher.  You can play with us if you want; it’s really complicated to explain, but you’ll learn easily if you play.”

Bel lowered his head as he made a soft humming noise.  He was curious, but did he really want to put himself in a position where someone could hit him with that bat…? 

But… at the same time, those kids had been around him several times before, and they had never tried to hurt him – yet…  Dino was with them; could he trust the older blond to protect him if they tried anything, or would Dino himself join in on it…?

The boy shook his head; it was just too much to picture himself joining the others, and the fact that they had a weapon they could easily hit him with if he went closer was too much.  He stayed where he was as he said, “I wanna watch…”

Tsuna’s smile didn’t falter as he nodded.  “Okay.  Let us know if you want to play with us.”

Bel didn’t respond; he waited until Tsuna had gone back to the others before he sat down on the veranda steps and watched.  He wasn’t sure how long he had been there for, but he eventually slipped into daydreams so deep, he stopped taking notice of the world around him. 

In fact, the only thing that snapped him out of it was someone screaming, “Bel, duck!”.  But when Bel lifted his head in confusion, all he saw was something flying at him seconds before he felt a splitting pain in his head and his world went black. 

**_~~XX~~_ **

“Dino-san, how is he?”

“He’ll be okay; the bleeding’s stopped and he’s been stirring; he should wake up again soon.”

“Yamamoto feels terrible…”

The words slowly became clearer to Bel as consciousness took over.  He blinked behind his long bangs a few times, but he made no sign to signal that he was awake; he was listening in to what the other two were talking about, knowing that while they believed him to still be asleep, they wouldn’t hide anything – at least now, he could finally decide whether or not Dino and the others were worth trusting.

“Of course he would, Tsuna; he really likes Bel and wants to be friends.  He’s too kind to have hurt Bel on purpose.”

Bel frowned; Takeshi wanted to be friends…?  But… what even _was_ friends…?

“The thing with Bel is…” The boy heard Dino sigh, and he almost flinched when he felt a large hand come to caress his hair.  He forced himself to remain still; he needed to hear what his guardian had to say.  “…He doesn’t know how to trust.  He’s been hurt…  Tsuna, don’t tell anyone this, because I’m not supposed to be talking about my client, but he has a condition called borderline personality disorder.  That in itself makes things very hard for him, and he gets… well, _scared_.  He’s unpredictable; he _wants_ to trust us, but…  He’s afraid of being abandoned, and he can’t help but lash out because of it.  I think he’s slowly learning that he’s safe here with me, but he still isn’t sure of things; he still can’t trust that I’m not going to abandon him.”

“You wouldn’t let anyone hurt him, Dino-san; you already really care about him.  Does your boyfriend like him, too?”

“…We broke up, Tsuna…  He didn’t like that I asked him to give me some alone time to work with Bel…”

“Oh…”

It was then Bel decided to ‘regain consciousness’.  He stirred for a few seconds before he pushed himself into a sitting position and rubbed at the bandage around his head.  He sighed.  “What happened…?”

“Takeshi accidentally hit the baseball at you.  He didn’t mean it, though.” Dino was glad that Bel didn’t seem to be in the mood for getting mad about it; it was easier when the smaller blond just nodded and left the subject alone.  “Would you like a drink or anything, Bel?  Tsuna?”

“Oh, yes please, Dino-san.” Tsuna smiled as he looked over to Bel.  “What about you, Belphegor-san?”

“…” Bel showed no sign he had heard the younger male. 

“Come on, Tsuna; we’ll go and get a glass of ramune.  We’ll be back, Bel; try not to move around; you’re going to be feeling pretty nauseas.”

The boy didn’t move; he was already feeling lightheaded enough.  He felt sick, but the more time that passed by without Dino, the more anxiety begun to grow inside of him until he could no longer stand to wait.  He knew he shouldn’t be walking around on his own again, but he didn’t have a choice; if Dino and the other kids were getting ready to leave, he had to stop them before they had the chance to disappear forever.

The journey to the bedroom door wasn’t very fun; Bel felt as if he were going to pass out any second, and it wasn’t any easier after making it into the hallway.  He stayed as quiet as he possibly could, wanting to catch Dino in the act of abandoning him so that he could prove once and for all that, just like everyone else who had been in his life, the older blond was no different to those who had left him all alone, no matter how much he wished Dino _was_ different. 

But despite everything Bel had been expecting to find when he wandered into the living room, nothing could have prepared him for the sight of both Hayato and Takeshi, squeezed onto the same chair that wasn’t big enough for both of them to be sharing.  The silver-haired male’s legs laid across Takeshi’s, and the taller teen had one arm around Hayato as he used the hand of his other arm to hold his friend’s face as their tongues danced together in the open air. 

Bel cocked his head to the side, unable to move from the doorway.  He was confused, not understanding what he was witnessing; did people really stick their tongues into other peoples’ mouths?  Disgusting!  Who knows what they had been eating! 

The boy watched in silence, fascinated in some sick way that made his stomach feel weird.  He felt gross as he watched the younger two bury their tongues deeper and deeper into the other’s mouth, but he could deal with that because for reasons he didn’t understand, he was very much enjoying watching when Takeshi’s hands would disappear beneath Hayato’s clothing and do something to earn small moans from the smaller male. 

“A-ah…” Bel almost couldn’t believe the small moan that left his own lips; why had he made that noise?  Was he subconsciously mimicking Hayato?  He wasn’t sure, but his pants felt tighter than they usually did, too.  He frowned; had he hit his head _too_ hard today? 

“Fuck!  Bel!”

Bel’s frown deepened as the younger males finally noticed him and Hayato scrambled away from Takeshi; he had been enjoying watching them, and he was disappointed it was over so soon.  He stepped further into the room, oblivious to the furious scowl the silver-haired student was giving him.  In a tone that showed just how much of a naïve, innocent child he truly was, he asked, “What were you two doing?”

The dark-haired male laughed as cheerfully as ever as he rubbed the back of his head.  He gestured to his friend before saying, “Gokudera and I are boyfriends.  We were kissing.”

The blond scrunched his nose up in distaste.  “Eww…”

Hayato opened his mouth to let strings of cuss words free, but Takeshi stopped him in a calm manner.  Completely unoffended, he asked, “Do you not like the idea of two boys being together?”

“Eh?” The oldest male cocked his head to the side.  “What do you mean?”

“You don’t seem to like Gokudera and I being together.”

“Not that; kissing is gross.” The boy sniffed in disgust.  “I wouldn’t kiss someone; their mouth could have been anywhere.  Yuck.”

Takeshi chuckled.  “Yeah, but Gokudera’s my boyfriend, and I love him.  It’s hard to explain, but you’ll understand it one day.”

Before Bel could respond, Hayato interjected in an accusing manner.  “Look at his pants, Yamamoto; the sick bastard was getting horny watching us.  He’s disgusting.”

For the first time since Bel had known him, the dark-haired male frowned.  Takeshi looked between Bel and Hayato a few times before falling silent and eventually saying in a soft murmur, “Don’t judge him, Gokudera; he’s probably been very deprived.”

Bel gave another soft moan, this time of discomfort; why did his pants feel like they were shrinking?  He reached down to try and make them more comfortable, but it was useless; they still felt far too tight, and he wasn’t feeling right. 

“Hey, Bel, why don’t you sit down?” Takeshi patted the couch next to them.  While he already knew what was wrong with the older male, he asked anyway; he didn’t want to make the boy feel threatened or anything.  “Are you feeling okay?  Is something wrong?”

“…My…  My pants… feel really tight…  It’s uncomfortable…”

“Does it usually happen to you?” Takeshi ignored the slap on the arm Hayato gave him, understanding how jealous his boyfriend must be feeling in this moment, but he couldn’t just leave Bel; who knew if the other even understood these kinds of things? 

The boy chewed at his lip as he shook his head.  He reached down with both hands and pressed against the bulge in his pants, wishing it would go away; why was this happening to him…?  “I... wake up like it sometimes…  But that’s all…  How do I make it go away…? It feels… weird…”

“You could, uh…” The tallest of the trio looked to his boyfriend, hoping he wasn’t about to upset Hayato, “…masturbate it away…”

“What’s masturbate?” The blond raised his arm so that he could wipe sweat from his forehead. 

“You just –“

“- No!  You are _not_ talking to him about those things!” Hayato got to his feet and pointed accusingly at Bel as his boyfriend opened his mouth to respond.  “I don’t care, Yamamoto!  You’re _my_ boyfriend, and not _his!_ I don’t want you talking to him like this!  Make him go to Dino or something!”

As if the addressed male had heard the argument from somewhere else in the house, Dino poked his head in from around the corner.  He looked between the three males, rather confused; why was Hayato sounding more agitated than usual?  “What’s going on?”

The silver-haired male’s cheeks flushed with embarrassment as his words caught in his throat.  He finally forced them out, however, not trusting Takeshi to explain things properly.  He pointed back to Bel.  “That _creep_ got hard watching Yamamoto and I!  Now he’s trying to steal my fuckin’ boyfriend!”

“Gokudera, he’s not trying to steal me…”

“Shut it, baseball freak!”

Dino sighed.  He stepped into the living room and moved closer to Bel so that he could kneel before his charge.  He allowed his gentlest demeanour to radiate from him as he said softly, “Do you feel weird, Bel?”

Bel nodded.  He pressed down harder against the lump in his pants.  “…I…  I-it…”

Dino was calm.  “It’s okay; it’s normal to feel that way.  Has anyone ever given you the talk before?”

“What talk…?” The boy begun panting slightly as the feeling in his stomach and groin intensified at Dino’s proximity.  He moaned softly as he felt his crotch twitch.  “…”

“About what to do in these situations.  You have to, uh… touch it a little…”

The boy felt sick now.  He frowned.  “…I…  They always said…  If I touch it…  If I touch it, they’ll…  I’m not allowed… to touch my penis…”

“Of course you’re allowed to touch it, Bel; it’s natural for a boy to want to touch himself down there.” Dino sat down on the couch next to his charge, and he couldn’t deny that it hurt him when Bel only moved further away from him.  “Most boys your age masturbate; it’s completely normal.  I touch myself down there, and so do Takeshi and Hayato.  You _are_ allowed to touch your penis, Bel; I promise.  It’s only going to become more uncomfortable if you leave it, so how about you go and get some privacy in my bedroom and take care of it?”

Bel shook his head. He felt as if he were being crushed by his anxiety as he whimpered.  “N-no…  I-I’m not allowed…  They’ll…  No…”

Dino wasn’t going to force the boy into anything, so he instead offered different advice.  “There is another way…  Someone _else_ can touch it for you…”

The young man flinched at the judging glares Takeshi and Hayato gave him.  He raised his hands in defence.  “I-I didn’t mean _me…!_ I was thinking…  M-maybe you two… or Tsuna…”

“…”

Dino sighed.  “Okay, I should have expected that…  I can do it for you if you want me to, Bel.”

Bel didn’t respond; he jumped to his feet and run back into the hallway so he could hide in the closet again, and all Dino could do was sit on the couch and look at the younger kids awkwardly. 

Takeshi was the first one to break the silence.  “Are you a pedophile, Dino?”

Dino’s face flushed at the question.  “N-no…!”

Takeshi and Hayato looked at each other.  Dino could only drop his face in his hands as he realised that he wasn’t the only blond who was feeling a bit… _aroused_.   

 


	6. Chapter 6

Bel was stressed.  Very stressed.  Dino had told him he would be home by six, and it was five-fifty-nine.  He paced around the living room, unable to stop his mind from thinking that maybe Dino had lied about going to work and had really abandoned him.  He could feel three sets of eyes on him, belonging to the kids who spent most of their time with Dino.  He didn’t care about them; he only wanted Dino.

It was when the clock finally ticked six-o-one did Bel let out a howl of pain; he was certain he had been abandoned, and he swore his heart was slowly being torn from his chest, inch by agonising inch.  He dropped to his knees as tears flowed down his face, and all he could think about was how stupid he had been for trusting Dino in the first place.  He let a scream rip from his throat as he dropped his body to the ground and pulled viciously at his hair, not knowing how to cope with the emotions he swore were destroying him completely. 

“Bel?!”

Bel could hear Takeshi yelling his name.  He didn’t miss the footsteps that were running to him, but he didn’t care; they didn’t belong to Dino, and he didn’t want anyone _but_ the older blond.  He shrugged off the hands that were grabbing his back before he pulled his sleeve down to his elbow and revealed flesh marred with scars.  He scratched at wounds that hadn’t completely healed in order to reopen them, not knowing what else to do; all he knew was that he had to get to his feet and find a knife so that he could finally, _finally_ slit his wrists.

“Bel!  What happened!?”

Bel sniffed and lifted his head as he recognised Dino’s voice.  His tears came harder as he found his guardian running towards him, but when the older male leant down to hug him, he threw his fists forward and started pounding angrily against the man’s chest.  When he screamed, it was in a heartbroken voice.  “You said you would be home by six, but you weren’t!”

Dino knew he should have expected for this; Bel was fragile, and the threat of abandonment was _very_ real to the boy – after everything he knew his charge had been put through, he understood why the smaller blond always got so bent out of shape about so much.  He tried to reach out to pull the younger into his arms, but Bel only let out an angry screech and tried to kick him.  “Bel, I –“

“-Don’t touch me!  Don’t touch me!” Bel snarled as a hand tried to reach back out to him.  He bared his teeth and bit down as hard as he could into the flesh, and he didn’t let go until he felt blood rolling down his chin.  “I hate you!  You said you’d be home by six but you _lied_!  I’m gonna go _kill_ myself like you want me to!”

“Bel, I could _never_ want you to kill yourself.” Dino held his injured hand to his chest as he tried to talk sense into Bel.  “I know you get worried when I don’t come home when I tell you I will, but please understand that sometimes I can’t help but be late; I got held up at work and couldn’t leave when I had been planning to.  But I’m here now, aren’t I?”

“…” Bel stared at his guardian for a few seconds, unable to deny the fact that yes; Dino _was_ here now.  But that didn’t solve his anger, and he spat, “I’ll kill myself if you don’t come back when you say you will.”

Dino sighed.  He really didn’t want to have that conversation with Bel, especially not with Tsuna and the others watching them worriedly.  He knew he couldn’t trust the smaller blond to be home alone, which was why he had asked for the younger kids to stay with Bel to keep an eye on him – but now that he was thinking about it, if Bel _did_ try something and he wasn’t there to stop it, would the younger kids be able to help, or would they be powerless? 

“Bel, those kinds of threats are not appropriate.” Dino understood; he knew that it was normal for Bel to make threats like those as it was part of his condition – but even so, it didn’t mean he liked it.  “I do not like them.”

“I don’t care!  I don’t like you _lying_ to me!” In one swift motion, Bel had thrown himself forward and curled his hand into a fist.  He tackled his guardian hard enough to knock the man over, and he didn’t hesitate to swing a punch as hard as he could into Dino’s cheekbone.  “I fucking _hate_ you!”

Dino had no trouble pushing Bel off him, and though the boy kept trying to get back at him to land more blows, Takeshi was able to restrain the smaller blond without effort; as violent as Bel was, he had been too neglected to hold much muscle in his thin body.  He stood up, and he went to leave the room to find a mirror and see how much damage had been done to his face.  But when Bel’s angry cries turned to panic, he couldn’t help but stop.

“No!” Bel struggled harder than ever to get away so that he could grab Dino’s shirt and hold him in place.  “Don’t leave me!  Don’t leave me!  I lied!  I don’t hate you!  Don’t go!  Please!  I’ll kill myself if you go!  Please!”

The man sighed.  He stood where he was as he softly said, “Let him go, Takeshi…”

As soon as Bel was free, he ran to Dino’s side and wrapped his arms around the other’s waist.  He stared up into the older male’s face with a panicked expression and whimpered, “If you leave me, I’ll kill myself…!”

“I’m not leaving you.  I’m going to the bathroom to use the mirror.  Stay here with Tsuna; I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

“No, you won’t!” Bel stomped his foot against the ground.  “You’ll leave like everyone else!  I’m coming with to make sure you don’t climb out the fucking window!”

“Bel, I know you’re upset, but I don’t want you following me to the bathroom; it’s a very unhealthy thing to be doing, and I won’t encourage it and make it worse.  Stay _here_ ; I promise I’m coming back.”

“No!  No, you’re going to leave me!”

Dino hated to see how close to hyperventilating his charge was, but he couldn’t encourage this sort of behaviour; it would only make it harder to help Bel.  “I’m not going to leave you, but you’re staying out here, Bel.  You don’t need to follow me everywhere.”  

“Don’t tell me what to do!  I hate you!” Bel tried to attack his guardian again, but Takeshi saw it coming and restrained the older male again.  He kicked and screamed in the stronger male’s hold, but nothing he could do was enough to stop Dino from walking out of the room.  As soon as the back of the man’s green jacket disappeared around the corner, he vomited; Dino was leaving, and was never going to come back.  He stopped struggling and instead started to cry, no longer caring that Takeshi was still holding him; he was just too stressed.   

But to the boy’s honest surprise, Dino _did_ come back, with a small first aid kit in his hand.  He forced himself to stop crying when the man knelt before him, and he didn’t protest when his bleeding arm was taken into the older male’s grip.  “…”

“Let’s clean your arm up, Bel.” Dino opened the first aid kit and pulled out a cloth.  He wiped away the blood before he grabbed antiseptic and wiped it over the scratches. 

Bel sniffed.  He looked down to his feet.  “…I didn’t mean what I said…”

“Hmm?  What do you mean, Bel?”

“…” Bel licked his lips.  He let out a whimper before he whispered, “When…  When I first came here…  I… kind of wanted you to go away…  But I don’t want you to go now…  I don’t… hate you anymore…”

Dino smiled.  He moved his face closer to his charge’s head so that he could kiss Bel’s forehead.  “It’s alright; I’m not going anywhere, so you don’t have to worry so much about it.”

Bel sighed.  As soon as his wounds were cleaned, he retreated to the couch he had claimed as his own not long after his stay had begun and curled up beneath the blanket.  Part of him wanted to take the room Dino was always trying to coax him into using, but he couldn’t do that; bedrooms were where his beatings always took place, and how could he trust Dino to not hurt him like that if he were to accept the bedroom as his own? 

Dino looked over at the younger kids.  He sighed as he noticed how worried they looked.  “How has he been?”

Tsuna was the first to speak.  “He’s… I don’t know…  He wouldn’t talk to any of us and stayed under his blanket until it started getting closer to six.”

Dino was no fool, and he knew what had caused that strange behaviour in his charge; Bel was unsettled by being home without Dino.   But what could he do about it?  Dino had to go to work, and he was worried that the boy may fear he was being handed back to the hospital if he were to bring Bel with him… 

“He’s been through so much…” Dino lowered his head.  “It isn’t easy to look after him…  But if I don’t do it, no one else will.  He doesn’t have anyone else to love him.  …Maybe you boys should take him out for ice cream; you three are the only other people he will come near.  Give him a feel as to what it’s like to live normally.”

“We’d love to, Dino-san, but we don’t think he’ll listen to us; you’re the only one he listens to.” Tsuna looked over his shoulder at Bel’s couch.  He hesitated before he approached it and reached out to pull the blankets away from the younger blond.  “Hey, Belphegor-san, do you – Hiee!”

Dino sprung into action at Tsuna’s frightened squeal, knowing there was no time to waste – not when Bel had lunged at the brunet from beneath the blankets and had a knife in his hand.  He shouted in hopes it would startle his charge long enough for him to get there and take the knife, but all it seemed to do was agitate the boy more if the frenzied slashes Bel made at Tsuna were anything to go by.

“Bel!  Stop!” Despite running as fast as he could to come to the younger’s rescue, Takeshi and Hayato had been closer.  He was almost relieved by this because he knew that the two of them could easily overpower the blond – but somehow, in his wild state, Bel managed to cut them both down.  “Stop it!  Bel!”

Dino knew that all four of those kids were under his care, and the fact that he had failed as a guardian and allowed one of them to attack the rest with a knife shattered the confidence he had in himself as someone who could help Bel; if he couldn’t even prevent something like this, he had no right to have brought the boy into his home and instilled a false sense of security in the younger.

“Bel, put the knife down!” Dino didn’t know why he had done it; maybe it was just wishful thinking, hoping that he had made at least _some_ sort of progress with Bel and maybe, just _maybe,_ the boy wouldn’t dare turn that knife on _Dino,_ too – but he was proven wrong by the knife sticking out of his shoulder because he hadn’t tried to block the blade that had been swung at him. 

And then, as soon as it started, Bel’s frenzy ended and he stood as still as a statue as he stared at the blood that was quickly staining his guardian’s shirt.  It was silent for what seemed like an eternity, the quiet broken only by the whimpers and cries of pain of the four that had been injured.  No one knew what to do or say, and the first one to make a move was Bel; in the blink of an eye, he lunged at Dino and ripped the knife out of the man’s shoulder so that he could instead slash down his wrists and then bury the knife as deep as he could get it within his stomach.  It was agonising, and while his vision was getting spotty and fading to black, he was sure he was about to vomit from the ringing in his ears.  He couldn’t hear the shouting around him; all he could do was pass out. 

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

Having waited at the hospital with Bel was one of the hardest things Dino had ever done, and the nurses telling him just how close the boy had come to dying from his injuries had left the older blond devastated; he had invested so much time and energy in his charge, the idea of losing Bel was agonising.

That was why, after just a short week of monitoring, Dino was allowed to bring Bel back home and continue to look after him.  He wasn’t surprised Bel didn’t want to talk on the car ride back home, and in fact, he almost welcomed it; Dino himself had so much running through his mind, he wasn’t sure he wanted to talk to Bel, either.

It was when they had gotten home and Bel had curled up on his couch again did the boy finally speak, and in such a quiet voice, Dino felt his heart break. 

“I didn’t want to make Dino mad at me…” Bel sniffed.  “I’m sorry…  Please stop being mad…”

Dino, who had been in the process of silently draping Bel’s blanket over the younger, cocked his head to the side and frowned.  “What do you mean?  I’m not mad at you, Bel.”

“Yes, you are…” The smaller male wiped at his eyes.  “You’re not talking to me…  You’re mad at me because I…  I…”

“I’m not mad at you for _anything_ , Bel,” Dino promised.  “I do want to talk to you about something, though.  Is that okay?  Are you in the mood for talking with me?”

Bel made no acknowledgement of those words for several seconds, but finally, he gave a tiny nod.  “…”

Dino tucked the boy in under the blanket before he sat on the edge of the couch next to his charge.  He patted Bel’s head in a gentle manner as he tried to decide how to start.  “…Bel…  There are some… _problems_ with your behaviour I need to discuss with you.  You have a… _condition_ , so it’s not your fault, but I do need you to try and work on it; the first thing being that you won’t take your medication anymore.”

It was now tears _did_ start rolling down pale cheeks.  Bel shook his head, and in a tone that was more panicked than anything, he whimpered out, “I don’t _want_ to take them!  I _hate_ them!”

“Why do you hate them, Bel?  Do they make you feel sick?”

“No…  I just… don’t like them…  The stupid people… back there…  They always held me down and shoved them down my throat…”

“So you’re _scared_ of taking them.”

“Yes…”

Dino nodded in understanding.  He continued threading his fingers through Bel’s hair as he said softly, “I’m sure we can work on that, then.  We’ll hold off on the medication for the meantime.  Another thing is how you talk to people.  I know you don’t know any better, but threatening to kill yourself all the time is very bad.”

Bel looked away as a guilty expression crossed his face.  “…I don’t usually mean it when I say it…”

“I know you don’t, Bel, but it still hurts having to hear it.  I respect you get upset with me a lot, but please don’t get angry at me; talking about what I’ve done wrong by you is the only way that I can fix things for you.  Okay?”

“…I’m sorry…”

“Don’t apologise, Bel; I understand.”

“What…  What is the…  The ‘thing’ they diagnosed…?” Did Bel really want to hear it?  He wasn’t sure.

“Didn’t anyone tell you?” Dino was shocked by these words; the patients were supposed to be kept in the loop, after all…  He frowned again when he received a shake of the head in response.  “You have a few different disorders, Bel.  Depression…  Anxiety…  And right now, the biggest problem of all, is borderline personality disorder…”

“What’s that one?”

“It’s very hard to explain, but it’s why you have such unstable behaviour.  It’s going to take a lot of work, but you can get better from it if you can trust me, Bel.”

Bel peeked up at Dino now, and through a small part in his bangs, the older male could see a glimpse of purple eyes clouded with insecurity and doubt.  “I want to trust you, Dino…  But it’s hard…”

“I know it is, Bel.  I know it is.  But it’ll get easier for you over time.  I promise.”

“I don’t hate you…” Bel pulled the blanket over his head so he could hide from the other.  Through the fabric, his voice came out in muffled sobs.  “I don’t hate you… even when I say I do…  I don’t…  Just please… don’t leave me like everyone else did…”

“I’m never going to leave you, Bel. Never.  I care about you so very much and all I want is for you to be okay.”

Bel didn’t reply to those words; all he could manage was to drop his head onto Dino’s shoulder and sigh sadly.  Dino didn’t mind; he held Bel close as they sat in silence.

**~~XX~~**

When night rolled around and Dino found himself lying in bed unable to sleep, he was surprised by his bedroom door opening and Bel stepping inside.  He lifted his head from his pillow so he could look at his bedside table; the clock sitting on it flashed three in the morning and he couldn’t help but sigh.

“Why are you still awake, Bel? It’s late.”

Bel ducked his head and looked anywhere but at his guardian.  “...I...  I dirtied the couch...”

“What do you mean? Did you have nightmares?”

“No...  I was dreaming about you, and...  And something happened...”

Dino was far from stupid; he understood immediately what the younger was trying to tell him.  He sat up in his bed so he could look closer at the boy, and as evidence to his assumption, the front of Bel’s pants were damp.  In a gentle tone, he soothed, “It’s alright; it’s normal for that to happen.”

Bel hesitated for several seconds before he moved closer.  It took a while, but eventually he found himself crawling up onto the mattress to sit next to his guardian, as silent as ever.

“Has it happened to you before?” When Bel shook his head, Dino frowned; what _wasn’t_ normal was for the boy to be displaying so much sexual dysfunction – but at the same time, he could understand; Bel’s whole _life_ was dysfunctional, and it was normal for it to extend to his sexual functioning, too.  “It’s alright; it’s normal.  It’s called nocturnal emission and it happens to every male.  It’s nothing to be embarrassed about.”

“…”

“It used to happen to me when I was your age, too.” Dino laid back down on his side so he could look up at the younger.  He smiled slightly when he noticed he had gathered the other’s attention now.  “It doesn’t happen as much when you get older.  But at your age, I was always changing my sheets.”

“Really…?” Bel’s shoulders became less tensed ever-so-slightly at these words.  He licked his lips before he asked, “But…  I made the couch dirty…  Am I going to be in trouble…?”

“Not at all, Bel.  I’ll clean it for you soon so you can go back to sleep.”

“…” Bel’s fingers twitched seconds before he reached out and brushed his fingertips against Dino’s wrists, almost as if he wanted to hold it.  “…I don’t want to go back to the couch…”

“Hmm?  Why not, Bel?” Dino lifted his hand and threaded it through the boy’s golden locks.

For the first time since Bel’s arrival, he welcomed the touch.  “...I wanna... stay here with you...”

Dino gave a soft smile.  “That’s fine, Bel. Try and get some sleep; it’s very late.”

Bel said nothing as he slipped beneath the blankets next to his guardian.  It was silent between them both for what felt like forever before Bel whispered, “What does it mean to kiss...?”

“Hmm?” Dino rolled onto his side and rested his head on his arm.  His smile only became gentler.  “Why do you ask, Bel?”

“…” The boy frowned.  “…In my dream…  We were kissing…”

The older blond chuckled.  “Is that so?  I could… give you a kiss now and see if you like it.”

Bel cocked his head to the side.  “But why would you kiss me?  What does it mean?”

“When two people love each other in a special way, they kiss.” Dino reached out to pat his charge’s head again.  “I don’t know about you, Bel, but lately…  I’ve been loving you in that special way, too.  And if you’d let me, I can show you that it’s okay and how it feels to be loved.”

It took Bel several seconds to think about the offer, but he soon found himself nodding; he was starting to trust Dino, and if the other could help him understand what he was feeling, it would be okay. 

In a husky voice, Dino mumbled, “Come here, baby…”

Bel did as he was told.  He crawled on top of Dino and rested their chests together.  He flinched when warm hands grabbed his cheeks and pulled his face towards the man’s, but he didn’t fight it; he wanted to _trust,_ and if this was what was going to help him learn…

Their lips pressed together, lightly at first until Bel became used to the feeling.  When they pulled away, the boy licked his lips questioningly, as if he were trying to decide if he liked it.  He must have, because much to Dino’s joy, the smaller male leant in once again in a silent request for more. 

Dino was only too happy to give Bel what he wanted, but when he felt hands _much_ smaller than what he was used to sliding down his stomach towards his arousal, he quickly grabbed thin wrists and whispered, “Bel…  What are you doing…?”

“Something was poking me…  I was gonna remove it…”

“Sorry, Bel…” Dino felt bad, he really did!  He didn’t want to force the boy into anything he may not be ready for, and he had no intention of seeing how far he could get with Bel tonight; it would have to happen over time, and certainly only if Bel was truly ready for a sexual relationship.  “Let’s try and get some sleep.  Do you want to get some clean pyjama pants?”

Bel shook his head.  With his head now resting on Dino’s chest, he had no intention of moving; he had never been so comfortable before, and he didn’t want it to end. 


End file.
